Happy Holidays, Mom and Dad: Let's talk about your funeral plans.
That's probably not how you want to start a conversation with your aging parents about this sensitive, emotional, but essential topic. So let's work together to identify how and when you may be able to raise this topic and have a constructive conversation.
We get it, it's a "hot potato" topic that no one wants to handle. Another year, another holiday gathering season passes by and the topic is avoided yet again.
Ironically, it’s something most people agree should happen. According to a 2022 survey by Ethos, one of the largest term life insurance providers in the U.S., 68% of Americans say discussing end-of-life preparations with loved ones is important—but only 47% have actually had that talk.
We get it. It’s emotional. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s also an act of love.
When done with care, the end-of-life conversation can bring peace of mind, strengthen family bonds, and ensure your parents’ legacy is honored the way they would want.
Here are some tips from Legacy of Love and suggestions to help you get your conversation started:
Don’t wait for a medical crisis or major event. The best time to talk is when your parents are healthy and clear-headed.
Consider using a natural conversation segue like: “I went to a memorial recently, and it made me realize how important it is to plan ahead. Have you thought about what you’d want someday?”
This is a deeply personal topic. Find a quiet moment when you won’t be rushed—maybe over coffee, during a walk, or after a family dinner.
Avoid times of stress or large family gatherings like the upcoming holidays - unless everyone is ready for an open conversation.
It’s okay if they haven’t thought much about it. Be patient and let them express their thoughts and preferences in their own time.
Helpful questions you can ask to get them thinking include:
Beyond the emotional side, logistics matter. Encourage your parents to share:
Legacy of Love provides a free Funeral Planning Checklist that can kick start thinking through some of these questions, identifying important documents to retrieve, and choices your aging parents have to make.
Having wishes written down makes a huge difference. You can start documenting your FREE funeral plan online with Legacy of Love. You can complete your plan yourself, or you can collaborate as much or as little as needed with your local Legacy of Love counselor. Once completed, your funeral plan is stored in a secure but accessible place—and family members will know where to find your plans.
Think of this as an ongoing dialogue, not a once-and-done event. Your parents’ preferences may change, or they may need time to think things over. Keep the door open with love and patience.
Make sure your parents know why you’re having this conversation—it’s not about control or fear. It’s about love, dignity, and honoring their life in the way they would want. Like financial expert Dave Ramsey says, "Preplanning a funeral is truly a gift to your family. Doing the legwork and setting things up ahead of time so your family doesn’t have to make a lot of financial decisions in the middle of an emotional situation shows them respect and consideration." Other experts like Suze Ormond, Clark Howard, and AARP also echo these thoughts.
You might say to your loved ones: “We want to make sure things happen the way you want them to. This is about showing how much we care.”
Broaching the sensitive and personal topic of funeral planning to your aging parents can feel uncomfortable. But, experts unanimously agree that starting this conversation is an act of love and respect. If you are inspired by this article and want to build upon it, we encourage you to reach out to your local Legacy of Love Funeral Planning counselor. Our caring team is here to guide you every step of the way. CLICK HERE to start a free funeral plan, or call Legacy of Love at 833-888-0355 or fill out our online form and we'll reach out to guide you through this process.
